One of the mysteries of illness is that no one can be healed by anyone whose emptiness is greater than their own. ~Mark Nepo
At first, I thought sharing this quote might be a downer, perhaps an energy depleter. I sat with it awhile. I found myself asking (my lens of course tainted with the current COVID challenge), “How can I give what I don’t have? How can I energize others around me?”
I found a picture of two Panda bears in a hug and sent it to my family (kids and work family) adding, “I miss you all. Sending you Mama Panda hugs.” Then came the replies with wonderful gifts—emoji hugs, hearts, doggy hugs, children hugs, a child dancing, funny video clips of baby’s laughter. One friend sent a text back, “My kid was laughing so hard he had snot running down his nose.” That made me laugh. Another friend sent a song, a parody on “U Can’t Touch This.” And I found myself dancing! We received beautiful sunrise and sunset pictures taken from windows or patios, inspiring quotes and cooking as baking experiments. We now have a regular buddy check ongoing. We even had a virtual get-together on Zoom with the medical students in Chattanooga.
As healers we must realize what we are needing and not hesitate to share these simple, often silly resources because they are heartfelt and authentic messages.
It’s important to be aware when we are stressed, upset or overwhelmed. And once we sense these emotions, we need to know and seek our own happy place. These fun messages are a happy relief, effective and easily available at our fingertips. Sometimes my happy place is a punching bag at the gym to get my nervous energy out, and that’s okay.
#REFLECT As healers, with what and how do we fill ourselves to be able to freely give to others?
What are you willing to give someone else to make them smile? A poem, a scripture or a positive phrase you go to?
My intention is to be useful at this time. It’s about reaching out to my relationships, creating new ones and expanding my community. Sharing thoughts with each other at this time through virtual connection is care giving and gratifying.
How is the coronavirus changing the way you think of self-care, community and resilience? As this challenging time unfolds, I am posting a daily quote on this blog with a reflection prompt. Please join in the conversation here or on Twitter with your thoughts or about what you are doing for self-care and care of others.
Feelings of Emptiness
It is true that one cannot give what one does not have; one has to be filled with positive feelings to share, be in possession of material resource of pleasure and happiness to give.
However, the good news is that everyone always has something or the other to give, even an unsought-after advice. I would however, refrain from giving any advice for the fear of what if I am wrong.
Everyone has some trait of positivity hidden within their hearts, be it love, empathy, kindness, gratitude, or even an expression of happiness, a smile. All these are for free, none of these costs anything except the willingness to share. Invariably such favors are returned, instantly as in the case of smile, so long as it is genuine. Try this with a baby, as soon as you smile, the baby reciprocates; you have immediately put a smile on baby’s face, unless your demeanor while smiling frightens the baby.
In my view, healers, preachers and teachers are the best placed to give when it comes to professional positive contributions to individuals, class, congregations, community and the society. They always have something to give even when they are materially poor. This is simply because while choosing these vocations, they have committed themselves to serve. They have to fill themselves with compassion, with the joy of caring, helping and serving others. People depend on them in their hour of need and crisis. They have to demonstrate trust and faith so that others can believe in them unconditionally. In many communities, the preachers are considered as angels leading the path to salvation; and the healers as incarnations of God, capable of giving the lease of life.
As a healer, before thinking of giving, I would start by feeling the pain and agony of the sufferer. I would start by giving a smile before adding anything else. Even when I may feel helpless to help, I would give a word of compassion. After all, according to Sir William Osler, this may be the last medicine I can administer to patients in their last moments of need.
Physician, heal thyself before you can heal others; fill yourself with compassion, so that you can put a smile on someone’s face.