“One of the simplest and most powerful tools we have as individuals is the ability to pause. Think about it. When you press pause on a machine, it stops. When we pause as humans, we begin. Pausing creates a space where one can see clearly” —Dov Seidman
The last few weeks have been noisy. I feel like I am surrounded by external noises and my own internal noise, conversations of what ifs, when, how? In spite of an intentional attempt at not watching the news, or turning on the television, I find my mind filled with noise.
I found myself thinking about my early years in the United States. My four-year old daughter was learning the piano. She practiced on a keyboard at home and as I oversaw her piano lessons, I remember reciting the music notes out loud with her.
“Do, re mi, pause,” we sang. “Pause, Natasha, there’s a rest there,” I remember pointing out to her as she tried to continue playing the music.
“Why do I have to pause?” came her reply.
“Because there’s a rest in the music,” I said, pointing to the sheet of music.
As I think about her innocent question and my literal answer, I’m reminded of the beauty in that pause, the value in the rest, the making of music in that pause. I wish I had had the wisdom to give her some more answers and maybe inculcate a practice of pausing both for her and myself.
Our political scene, the COVID-19 pandemic, tensions around racism, equality and justice, the climate-related challenges—all these have added to the busyness and the time poverty that we were already experiencing. We work in a world which values “busyness!”
Taking time for a pause maybe perceived as a sign of weakness. But taking a break replenishes the mental and emotional energy associated with working hard, thus improves work performance and boosts energy.
If only we could take time to pause, rest, allow ourselves to reflect, remind ourselves of our own strength, of our healing community, we would find the ability to reframe and reset our thinking, recharge and replenish ourselves, recover and even rejoice.
How can we take time to pause, to recharge ourselves in real time, how can we slow down, quiet the noise of the world and replenish our own well-being without feeling guilty or selfish?
Here are six rituals I’ve found that help me replenish:
I have to make taking a break into a ritual, even if it means to just take a few deep breaths. I schedule me time on my calendar which serves as a reminder.
I have learnt to recognize the visceral reactions in my body when I am tense or not feeling centered, when I start wringing and clasping my hands, when I start massaging the back of my neck or when I have the urge to scream.
Intentional attention to acknowledge these reactions and redirect my thoughts to my stored “happy place” in my brain helps me calm down and even smile and laugh. Depending on what I am in the mood for, my happy place can be pictures of my family, positive verses or quotes, passage from a scripture and even at times a punching bag. This also helps me reframe my goals and refocus.
I have to revisit the expectations I have from others and myself.
Recognizing when I am Hungry (or too hungry with cravings), or Angry or Lonely or Tired reminds me to H.A.L.T and take a pause.
Offering gratitude is vital for mental, emotional and spiritual replenishing—and reflection is crucial—so each day I reflect on the silver linings in my life.
Most important and valuable is that the intentional practice of these rituals reminds me to respect and be kind to myself and others, which leaves me with Happy Thoughts!!! There indeed is immense power and beauty in taking a pause.
How is the coronavirus and civil unrest around racism changing the way you think of self-care, community and resilience? As this challenging time unfolds, I am posting a quote on this blog with a reflection prompt. Please join in the conversation here or on Twitter or Instagram with your thoughts or what you are doing for self-care and care of others. My book explores such ideas too: Resilient Threads: Weaving Joy and Meaning into Well-Being.
Yes my friend so often in life a pause must be required God is loving and kind to us must of the time you have to speak over yourself encourage yourself in the Lord breaking the strong hold only comes from God The Power of Prayer still works im so glad we All havethe good news to meditate on its free to All i just love your sweet knind spiritual heart that you share to All God Bless you my friend always.
This post, in opinion is a very profound, relevant, and timely to reflect upon.
It is important to know the difference between pause and break. While a break disturbs and destroys the continuity, a pause does not. Pause simply means a halt or a stop before resuming the process. It is like a station on a journey. After that, the same journey can continue, mostly in the same direction till the destination is reached.
Every life is bestowed with a quantum of energy. Life breaks or ends when this energy is exhausted. But judicious use of pause during daily routines of life can not only conserve this energy but can also recharge the energy providing batteries and prolong life.
A pause, therefore, is not a luxury but a necessity for life. Failing to do so can not only shorten the life but can force the H.A.L.T; the phenomenon of hunger, anger, loneliness, and tiredness, making life miserable, even not worth living being devoid of happiness. Pause as an automatic phenomenon has been inbuilt in our system.
Physically, the heart takes a pause as in diastole and mentally the brain takes a pause as in the states of sleep or meditation. The need for a pause, therefore, is so obvious.
Pause provides the fourth and fifth dimensions that are so vital for life, those of time and space, to reflect and contemplate, to recover and rejuvenate.
When we count the innumerable blessings and gifts from our God, the all-mighty, three of them standout as the most precious.
These are the power to remember and recall, the power to forget and delete, and the power to pause and resume. The first is necessarily inbuilt, the second is optional and voluntary, but the third has to be intentionally inculcated as a mandatory part of our lives. By doing so, we can spare so many mishaps and misgivings in life.
Let me tell a story to emphasize the importance of a pause.
A young army soldier was called for duty just two weeks after his marriage. Very reluctantly he left his young wife promising her that he will return soon. Unfortunately, he got leave only after twelve years. He rushed home hoping that she must be waiting for him even after such a long separation. When he reached his village, he decided to give his wife a surprise by coming home at night. With his rifle hanging on his shoulder, he was about to knock on the door when he heard his wife’s voice saying, ‘I love you so much. I have spent every moment of past so many years with you and you have made me so happy that I will not be able to live even for a moment without you’. Realizing that his doubts about his wife’s fidelity have come true, he peeped through the window and aimed his gun to shoot at her. What he saw at that crucial moment was the plate hanging on the wall that read, ‘Think before you act, pause before you react’. Recognizing his own motto, he lowered his gun and paused to take a deep breath. During those few moments of pause, he heard a male voice saying, ‘I too cannot live without you because I love you so much, Mom’. He was stunned like a million volts lightening had struck him, realizing that he was going to kill his own adolescent son and his wife at that moment of rage. It was the Pause that saved three lives for he too could not have lived with that guilt.
To pause is a sign of maturity and wisdom, not of insecurity or weakness. It is a ritual that we have to include as part of our daily routine and interactions. It provides that precious moment in life when we discern the value of gratitude and forgiveness, of bliss and happiness.
To look before you leap, to think before you speak, are the time-honored axioms preached by enlightened thinkers. This should be the seventh ritual on Mukta’s list for the replenishing of the body, for peace of mind and for serenity of the soul.