Finding something positive in scary and uncertain times is not easy. We often force our minds to find strength and new meaning from each moment. Focusing on positive things does not make problems any less serious or vanish but does make the situation easier when can we find the silver lining! Our relationships are always helpful. The relationships we cultivate in our lives are essential to our well-being. They nurture us and they help us grow. They help us become better people.
A wonderful timely reminder of this came today from a third-year internal medicine resident in our program named Jamie:
Dr. Panda,
I wanted to share my experience with one of my patients yesterday. As you know, during the COVID-19 era, the outpatient clinics are trying to convert most visits to telemedicine visits. Since we are an FQHC, we are still seeing pretty much anyone that walks in our clinic - with proper screening at the door of course.
I had a few patients on my schedule yesterday and I attempted to call each one the day before to see if they would be comfortable doing a phone conversation. Our goal is to keep patients at home, but if they are having sick symptoms or need to be physically seen, then we can ask them to keep their appointment and come in.
I was not able to get a hold of one of my patients and he showed up for his usual appointment yesterday. My other visits were telephone calls so I had plenty of time to spend with him. We first talked about his medications and what symptoms he was having, but then we started to talk about other things. Now this is a man that I've been seeing since I started residency and I have never seen him upset or cry during these visits. He always brings his sugar logs, blood pressure logs and his medications and is on top of his health.
When I asked how else he had been doing at home during the time, he then started to tell me how he had been having more thoughts about his late significant other and how he felt like everyone was dying around him. He is not able to play dominoes with anyone and also one of his good friends had just passed about a month ago. This led to an hour-long conversation of me just listening to him reminisce about his life before his sweet significant other passed away (about 5 years ago) and how being at home has made him think more about it. He started to tear up, I started to tear up and then we both had a good laugh about making each other cry!
This just reminded me of why I do what I do and why I absolutely love being a physician. It also reminds me that it's okay to show who we are as a person and a friend, not just as a physician. Sometimes these visits are just about listening and with most of my patients being telemedicine, this gave me the time to spend with him. I think that time and lending an ear is the best treatment we can give any patient.
My silver lining through all of this is that it has allowed me more time with my patients and not worrying as much about documentation/efficiency and numbers. Getting to be home with my dogs instead of working so much is definitely a silver lining as well for me.
Jamie
Focusing on our relationships and offering gratitude for small meaningful wins are powerful! They connect passion to purpose. Relationships are the silver lining!
“It's funny how, when things seem the darkest, moments of beauty present themselves in the most unexpected places.”
—Karen Marie Moning
#REFLECT: What moments of beauty have surprised you lately as silver linings?
Beauty lies on the eyes of beholder; however only in the eyes that can see, not merely look. These are not the physical eyes but eyes of the mind. Light and dark are all relative terms and are functions of the eyes of the mind. Even persons who are blind from birth can appreciate light in their own way. The moments of beauty are not only in what is present or what is seen. Beauty can also be found in what is absent or what may not be seen by the physical eyes.
What I am seeing and appreciating these days is this kind of beauty. To many this may appear as stark and dark beauty, but some like me may also see a silver lining in it.
Today, the absence of the cacophony of meaningless chatters, aimlessly milling crowds in streets, the unnecessary hustle and bustle of people in malls pushing each other, vehicles rushing on the streets just for the fun of it wasting precious fuel and polluting the atmosphere, and families unloading hoards of shopping bags, most of the things they could have done without are conspicuous by their absence. These are the moments of surprise, for the fact that we can now do without all these and live normally, at least with what from now shall become the new normal. For me, this is a silver lining, waking up to a new reality of life, a new way of life to live with only the essentials and doing away with the nonessentials.
There is silver lining in newly found beauty also, which includes the ability to see the clear star filled skies without smog and pollution, to hear the sweet sounds of the rustling wind and singing birds, to be able to look at and see the beauty of nature all around that was missed in the mad rush of life till now.
I see a silver lining in the fact that spending quality time with family has become the focus of primary attention, that there is now more time and opportunities to appreciate and nurture interpersonal relationships. People who always complained of not having enough time are now having time on their hands to pursue their hobbies and reveal their hidden talents.
What is even more important than just a silver lining is the flash of awareness, that how miniscule and unimportant we humans are in the realm of Creation, that the tiniest particle can control us all everywhere.
There is silver lining in our return to innocence, in replacing negativity with positivity, in reaffirming faith in the divine directives; work is worship, do thy duty without concerns for rewards, live and let live, practice compassion and gratitude, pray and be blessed. There is a silver lining in believing that our life is merely a journey on loan, to be returned to the owner at the end.
However, the most important enlightening ray of light is that people have started accepting and believing in the Supreme Power beyond us. People are looking inwards, reflecting on and reassessing their priorities in life. They are realizing that God is within all of us. If we can find Him in our hearts, sing His glory in isolation and in quarantine, continue to receive His blessings without searching for Him elsewhere but seeing Him in everything He has created, treating everything and everyone with the same reverence, we then have seen the silver lining. We have seen that there is no need to search for Him in the manmade edifices in His name, there is no need to gather in huge crowds to sing His praise or to listen to sermons. This awareness is in no way to undermine the importance of these time-honored current practices, it is simply to emphasize that Faith is more important than ritualistic practices. Many believers accept this.
This present crisis is teaching us to accept this new normal. It is telling us to mind our own business, to care for and share with every form of life, and to respect His creation, the Nature.
Awakening to this knowledge is the silver lining, it is beautiful, meaningful and reassuring.