Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.
—Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation
Experiencing the educational journey of one’s choice is a dream come true for most. The road is unknown, the language new, the course information vast and ever expanding. The learning never stops—we need to be life long learners. This is true for almost all graduate educational programs. The vision of a goal achieved at the end of the educational journey is the catalyst that keeps energizing and providing the encouragement needed.
Yet more is needed to continue, especially in medical school and to be health care professionals. The students and health care team are invited to share in the most intimate human story, to be witness to human beings in their most vulnerable states. We see them absolutely naked, not just physically, but emotionally and even spiritually. While this is an amazing honor, it comes with tremendous responsibilities. This can place tremendous stress on us. In addition, we see the full spectrum and every stage of the circle of life. We experience life and death. Many medical students witness the loss of life for the first time.
We find our life story is intertwined with the threads of the stories of our patients. However, our life has other stories in addition to our vocational role: our personal roles as a son, daughter, sibling, parent, colleague, friend and—perhaps the most important but often forgotten—the self! Each of these roles requires us to be mindfully and intentionally present, to listen, to care, to share, to encourage, to help and to comfort!
But how can we give what we don’t have! How can we give to others what we don’t give to ourselves?
Self-care often is an afterthought even when things are normal. Especially now self-care seems to be overshadowed by the pandemic-related uncertainties and total upheaval of the educational routine as it was known and accepted.
I am being extra intentional personally and reaching out to the students to allay their fears and anxieties, to reassure them that they are not alone, that we are here to guide them and see their dream come true.
I was excited to see Mathew Spence on a recent Zoom meeting. (I had really enjoyed working with Matt on inpatient medicine during his clerkship) I had not seen him since the end of February when he was inducted into the Gold Humanism Honor Society. We exchanged a few text messages at the beginning of the Zoom meeting. I asked him how he was doing especially as this time, the end of his third year. We had discussed his residency and career plans after medical school. I know he was looking forward to the residency application process.
I invite everyone to reflect and share if they wish, what they are doing for self-care in these times. I was truly touched by Matt’s response a couple of days later, and even more grateful when he allowed me to share it with you:
A Much-Needed Change of Pace
As far as your question on how we are maintaining wellness and balance during this time….this has actually been a really sweet season for me, despite the inherent negative things going on and the occasional anxiety around all of the uncertainty. It has allowed me to slow down, reflect, and reconnect with myself and God. This year has been particularly stressful trying to decide what specialty I want to pursue, all while trying to apply myself fully to each clinical rotation I am on at the time. It has made caring for myself an afterthought most days.
Since we've been temporarily dismissed from rotations, I’ve loved taking my time in the morning to make a pot of coffee, read scripture, pray, and meditate (something that I have not done consistently throughout third year). I’ve been going on runs or long walks every day without feeling rushed.
On my walks, I’m noticing small things that I never really did before – funny houses in my neighborhood, the smell of blooming honeysuckles, and exuberant gardens. I’ve gotten to cook some of my favorite dishes and try my hand at some new ones. I have revived one of my favorite hobbies - fishing. I found a few big ponds out in Germantown to fish in that I’ve gone out to by myself a couple times.
Those have been some of the most peaceful afternoons I’ve had in a long time. I’ve also had the chance to reconnect with many dear friends on the phone, which has blessed me immensely. Overall, I’m thankful for the opportunities this extra time has offered. It has been a much-needed change of pace from the craziness of M3 year.
—Mathew Spence, M3 UTHSC COM
Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.
—Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation
#REFLECT: What are you doing for a change of pace that feels like self-care?
How is the coronavirus changing the way you think of self-care, community and resilience? As this challenging time unfolds, I am posting a daily quote on this blog with a reflection prompt. Please join in the conversation here or on Twitter with your thoughts or about what you are doing for self-care and care of others. My new book explores these ideas too: Resilient Threads: Weaving Joy and Meaning into Well-Being.
Love Wisterias!
People must take care of themselves so that they can take care of others. Unhealthy people not only fail to serve others, they can become burden on others.
‘Mens sana in corpore sano’ is a Latin phrase that comes from Satire X of the Roman poet Juvenal (10.356). In simple English, it means, “a healthy mind in a healthy body”. Those who believe in spirituality add the third factor, the healthy soul. When people on the whole are healthy, the community and society remain healthy and capable of helping each other.
We must differentiate between taking self-care and being selfish. While first does not hurt anyone and is a desirable attribute, the latter is totally undesirable since it implies serving own self at the cost of others.
Self-care is natural activity for me like anybody else. It starts with daily routine of body hygiene and mental thoughts about expected activities for the day. My wife and I, both octogenarians, take care of each other and our daughter looks after us.
For my physical activity I take daily walk in almost empty streets of the neighborhood. It also helps in my mental health since it provides time for undisturbed contemplation. My hobbies include reading, writing and intellectual discussions on any subject. In my discussions and writings, I use the firsthand knowledge stored in the gray cells of my brain. Occasionally, I do surf the net for information which comes very handy and useful even though it is second-hand information. After all, cumulative community knowledge is definitely superior and supplementary to the individual one. Since events have confined us to the house, we have much more time for interactions with each other on various topics.
My wife keeps herself busy with her knitting hobby. She knits blankets and prayer shawls for distribution as charity for the needy.
Spirituality occupies a lot of our time. Nowadays, apart from daily rituals of prayers and worship, we have time to watch together on television, the serial telecast of mythological Indian epic of Ramayana. It has message that righteousness always wins over the evil. There are great lessons in inter-personal relationships with family and friends at all levels, as well as with the adversaries one may encounter in life.
This is our routine in self-care these days. When mind is at ease and the heart is at the right place in a fit body, we are ready to provide selfless service.