The People Who Love Us
What allows us to receive love?
Mukta PandaMar 31
After a very busy morning managing sick patients and coordinating their care, my senior resident requested if we could make time for walk again. I was delighted to hear the request. That was my hope too. Hope that we would continue this little reprieve that we started on our first call day.
Our masks donned, maintaining social distance, we started up the slope next to the hospital. We decided we would spend only the first few minutes talking about the latest updates on the COVID-19 crisis, the new information which is being released at a pace that we find difficult to keep up with. But then we would talk about something fun and calming.
At the top of the slope we met another colleague who was not working that day. She looked rejuvenated after the good workout she had just completed. Maintaining social distance, we engaged in conversation for a few minutes. Of course, the conversation centered around COVID-19, specifically how this disease was increasing the human divide. We expressed our own discomfort and awareness of the serious implications on the blue-collar workers who do not have options. We discussed ways we could engage our local leadership to create this awareness.
I shared how some groups I was involved with were intentionally reaching out to their communities and offering help as needed and of course also offering a lot of gratitude. We were happy to know that our local YMCA had opened a daycare to help the community. Our colleague informed us about an upcoming meeting with the local leadership and healthcare professionals to discuss such issues.
Encouraged we continued our walk n’ talk. We had hardly covered a short distance when a young gentleman sitting in his balcony shouted out his thanks to us for our work. We acknowledged him and also informed him to thank the nurses who are the true heroes. They are the ones who truly spend a lot of time with each patient by the bedside.
My resident suggested we call different hardware companies and construction workers to see if they had any masks that they would like to donate. I told him I knew some builders and that I would reach out them.
As our conversation continued, my resident proudly shared a picture of himself with a mask. The mask had been made by his seven-year-old son, who presented the mask to him upon his return home the day before. On the front of the mask was the initial I with a heart drawn in the center and the initial T at the end. The initials were those of the seven-year-old son and his father, my resident. We shared how everyone, including the children, understand and feel the palpable undercurrents and they all want to be useful.
My resident shared how he treasures that moment. While his son’s mask would definitely not keep the virus away, it did a lot to lift up his spirits. He is going to frame the photo at the top of this post.
This act of love from son to father reminds me of the touchstone “give and receive care.” We need to be intentional not only about giving care but receiving care.
These days as I walk through the halls of the hospital, everybody’s face is almost covered by the mask, I find myself often peering at their eyes behind their glasses. The smile in their eyes, the reassuring look that we are in this together, fills my heart with warmth.
I received an email this morning from the mother of a friend in India who knows I am in the States. She just wanted to tell me that she was thinking about me and praying for me and us all.
Small gestures are hugely comforting, reassuring, and much needed!
The people who love us do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. They release the best in us; they shoulder us through the rough times in life; they stretch us beyond the confines of our own experiences to wider visions, to truer vistas.
~Mary Lou Kownacki
#REFLECT What in us allows us to receive care and love from others?
How is the coronavirus changing the way you think of self-care, community and resilience? As this challenging time unfolds, I am posting a daily quote on this blog with a reflection prompt. Please join in the conversation here or on Twitterwith your thoughts or about what you are doing for self-care and care of others.
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The concepts of care and love require we and they; and the connection between the two. This connection is based on the concept of mutual give and take. This connection can only be maintained so long as there is am intention and willingness to do so and the ability to pay attention, listen to and respect, not necessarily accept, each other’s views. There is a saying in Indian philosophy that the faith and the friends are best tested in the times of distress and need. They support you, stand by you, not desert you in your trying times. These bonds of faith and friendship promote a bond and allow a mutual give and receive care and love from each other. A friend in need is a friend indeed.
Apart from this, care and love can be shared between total strangers too, provided a connection is established. This connection is beyond anything physical; it is purely an emotion of the heart and mind at a virtual level. All we need is to to keep our virtual antennas open to receive and transmit. The inputs can also come through audio or visual senses such as conversations and expressions.
Apart from you, no one can know you better than your best friends, irrespective of relationships. They know your strengths and weaknesses, your opportunities and threats. They would know when to alert you, protect you, support you, remind you of your capabilities and shortcomings, that you might have forgotten or misplaced. They are complimentary rather than contradictory. Even in their dissent, they are supporting you with good intentions. It is the desire to recognize and appreciate such people, to bring their best out of them, and to reciprocate their deeds with gratitude that allows us to give and receive love and care. It is to sustain and to propagate the goodness of humanity that we allow us all to give and receive care and love. It is to see the hand of God in these thoughts and actions and to pay tribute to His blessings that allows us all to give and receive care and love with each other.